The Man, The Myth, The Bottomy
A brief introduction to someone who is absolutely not writing this about himself
Thomas Preston Bottomy — but call him Preston, unless you want a look that could wilt a Zara mannequin — is a Nashville-born, Princeton-educated, Stanford-double-degreed executive who somehow ended up in Barcelona complaining about American culture while shopping at European Zara.
He's currently at Alo Yoga, which makes perfect sense for a man who survived brain surgery and was back at work in eight days. Previously, he was the VP & General Manager of Men's Wear for Walmart's e-commerce division, where he presumably made cargo shorts slightly more dignified.
Preston is the son of Dr. Michael B. Bottomy (a pathologist in Nashville) and Patricia Cowan Bottomy (retired marketing director for the Worth Collection). So yes, good taste is genetic.
Preston, looking characteristically unbothered
Fashion Forward (Zara Speed)
When your closet has better curation than most museums
Preston doesn't just wear clothes. He commits to them. And his weapon of choice? Zara. Yes, that Zara. While other executives are dropping four figures on a single Italian blazer, Preston is walking out of Passeig de Gràcia with three bags, twelve looks, and change for a cortado.
"Why pay €2,000 for one jacket when you can have an entire wardrobe rotation for the price of a business lunch?" — something Preston has almost certainly said, probably while wearing head-to-toe Zara and looking better than everyone in the room.
His fashion philosophy is simple: look expensive, spend wisely, rotate constantly. It helps that he has the build of someone who does Pilates regularly and the confidence of a man who graduated summa cum laude. Twice.
Almost 2 Million Miles
American Airlines should name a plane after him
Most people collect stamps, coins, or regrets. Preston collects American Airlines miles. Nearly 2 million of them per year. Let that sink in. That's roughly 80 trips around the Earth. Annually.
At this point, the flight attendants don't ask him what he'd like to drink — they already know. The pilots wave. The Admirals Club staff have his preferred seat memorized. He's not a passenger; he's an institution.
Some people have a commute. Preston has a flight path.
Waymo Evangelist
If loving autonomous vehicles is wrong, he doesn't want to be right
Preston is not merely a fan of Waymo. He is a disciple. An apostle. The kind of person who will corner you at dinner and spend 45 minutes explaining why self-driving cars are the single greatest achievement of human civilization, while you slowly realize your Uber driver is circling the block.
"Have you tried Waymo?" he'll ask, eyes gleaming with the fervor of a man who has seen the future and it does not involve parallel parking. Every ride is a religious experience. Every smooth stop is a small miracle. Every lane change is poetry.
The man flew 2 million miles last year and his favorite vehicle doesn't even have a driver. Consistency is not his brand. Excellence is.
The Bottomy-Barge Cultural Critique™
Two Americans in Barcelona who have opinions
Living in Barcelona has given Preston and Matthew the rare gift of perspective — and they wield it like a sommelier wielding a corkscrew at a wine tasting full of people ordering Bud Light.
"American culture is a peculiar cocktail of ostentatious, obnoxious, and herd mentality — poured into a supersized cup, naturally." — The general vibe at dinner with Preston & Matthew
They've traded McMansions for Modernisme. Pickup trucks for metro passes. Fast food for pa amb tomàquet. And they are not subtle about which side of the Atlantic got it right.
Highlights from the Bottomy-Barge cultural commentary include (but are not limited to):
- 🇺🇸 Why do Americans clap when the plane lands? It's a plane. It was supposed to land.
- 🏠 The American obsession with square footage as a personality trait
- 🍔 Portion sizes that could feed a small European village
- 👕 Athleisure at fine dining — "Sir, this is a Michelin restaurant, not a SoulCycle"
- 📱 The uniquely American need to tell everyone you're "so busy" as a flex
- 🎄 Holiday lawn inflatables as a form of cultural expression
Of course, they say all this while deeply loving America in the way that only expats can — from a safe distance of approximately 6,000 miles, with excellent healthcare and better wine.
Barcelona: where the Bottomys found their people
Plot Twist: Brain Surgery
In which Preston treats a brain tumor like a minor scheduling inconvenience
"I like being in control of things. I didn't want to be the victim of surgery; I wanted to recover as quickly as possible."
At 38 — while running Walmart's e-commerce men's division, maintaining a Manhattan social life, and presumably racking up another million miles — Preston started experiencing vertigo. The room would spin during workouts. Meetings became rollercoaster rides.
Turns out, a vestibular schwannoma (acoustic neuroma — basically a brain tumor near his ear) had been quietly hanging out since an MRI seven years prior, when doctors told him "just monitor it." Spoiler: they should not have said that.
Dr. Philip Stieg and Dr. Samuel Selesnick at Weill Cornell Medicine removed the tumor. Preston's recovery?
The nurses kept telling him to go to bed. He kept walking the halls. Because of course he did. He was "so bored" recovering that he went back to work after eight days, reportedly saying: "There was only so much binge-watching I could do."
His hearing returned. His balance improved beyond pre-surgery levels. Preston: 1. Brain tumor: 0.
The Love Story
A tale of two overachievers who found each other at Stanford Law
In the fall of 2004, two absurdly accomplished men started law school at Stanford. They maybe had one brief conversation at the gym. That's it. They knew each other "only vaguely." Romantic? Not yet.
Fast forward to June 26, 2017: Preston married Matthew Donald Barge at the Manhattan Marriage Bureau. Ten days later, they did it again — this time in Pont de Molins, Spain, because one wedding is never enough when you're this fabulous.
Matthew is a co-executive director of the Police Assessment Resource Center (PARC), graduated summa cum laude from Georgetown, and has a law degree from NYU. Because in this household, overachieving is a couples activity.
Today they live together in Barcelona, where they enjoy:
- ☀️ Mediterranean weather (goodbye, Manhattan winters)
- 🍷 Wine that costs less than a New York subway ride
- 🏛️ Architecture that doesn't include a single strip mall
- 🗣️ Loudly critiquing American culture over pintxos
- 💅 Being the best-dressed couple at every gathering
The Résumé
Because some people just have to be good at everything
Princeton
B.A., summa cum laude
Just casually graduating with highest honors from an Ivy
Stanford Law
Juris Doctor
Where he maybe saw Matthew at the gym once
Stanford GSB
M.B.A.
Because one Stanford degree felt incomplete
Alo Yoga
Current
Mindful movement meets boardroom energy
Walmart E-Commerce
VP & GM, Men's Wear
Made men's e-commerce slightly less tragic
Brain Surgery Survivor
8-day recovery
Speedrun world record (unverified)